CHILDHOOD FRIEND

For confidentiality purposes I'm going to call her SJ

Lately I've been talking to my childhood friend from Oman. I've known her from ever since I can remember. We went to church together, we were in the same classes and we did pretty much everything together. In the year 2003, everything changed.

When my mum told me that we were moving halfway across the world to England, I was devastated. Not only was I leaving my comfortable life in Oman and the friends that I shared my childhood with; I was also leaving SJ. She may deny it now but I still remember how we were both in tears when I eventually told her. I was moving to an alien country to start a new chapter in my life but I wanted her to be one of the characters in my new book. We vowed to stay in touch and at first, we both kept our promises. But like a vast majority of friendships, as life became more hectic and difficult, the frequency of the calls and efforts made to contact each other decreased; until eventually it stopped on both sides.

Five years went by...

We both changed. We grew taller. Our bodies changes. Our attitudes, morals and values were taking shape. We were starting to become individuals in our own right.

We stumbled across each other's profile on a social media site and began talking. I'm going to be completely modest and say that conversations with me don't tend to get awkward unless I want it to! However, this time around I was quite nervous to start talking to her. 

We are so different from the little girls in pigtails that used to run around the international school in Oman. Nevertheless, after all these years the conversation flowed regardless of the North Atlantic Ocean that keeps us apart. It's quite strange talking to SJ, it feels as though I'm reliving my childhood in the country that I was born and brought up in. 

I love hearing other people's stories about the one friend whom they've known for what seems like an eternity. I used to wish that I had that in my life too. But moving from country to country has made it difficult (Not that I would change that!) But now I'm beginning to see that I too have a childhood friend. Someone I used to share all my secrets with and someone with whom I will always have a million things to talk about. We may be living in different countries but hopefully our friendship will last as long as others in the world who are lucky enough to have that special friend for years to come. One day, I hope to visit you in America and relive the days we ruled Indian School of Darsait!

I know that you read my blog so hello! :) I hope I haven't made you cringe too much with this post.

MEMOIRS OF A DANCER

The gorgeous bride and groom

She walked down the aisle looking like an angel. At that moment, I turned around to see her fiancée's face and oh my the glow that spread across his face made me believe in fairy tales all over again. The angel that was gracefully walking past the eyes of her friends and family is a girl that I used to dance with when I first began to enjoy this beautiful form of art.

The theme of the wedding included peacock feathers which brought a touch of India to England.

The ceiling in the venue was draped in crisp white linen and was covered in fairy lights; making the reception almost magical.

Long rehearsals, last minute outfit changes, the rush of adrenaline as we stood backstage, the vibrations that made its way from the sound system to my feet and the way my limbs moved in sync with the beat.

I miss dancing. When I say I miss it, I mean my body literally quivers at the thought of it and is hungry for an empty dance studio and music. This art form will always remain close to my heart due to many reasons. It's hard to describe how I feel when I am on stage or even in the comfort of being alone in a studio.

How I wish I could carry on dancing on a regular basis; but circumstances have made it difficult. Unfortunately, there are only 24 hours in a day and time is something which I long to have more of. I want to relive my past memories of entering competitions and dancing to entertain. But I guess those succinct moments will have to be stored in my long-term memory, all in the hope that I can revoke them one last time in the future...

MOTHERLAND

The land which gave birth to my beautiful mother,
The land which raised her to be a free-thinking spirit like many others,
The land which she left behind to give her family a better life,
The land which she longs to go back to.

The land which fought for its liberty,
The land which was once held in captivity,
The land which has lost many,
The land whose riches and culture were taken away in plenty.

The land whose blood runs in my veins,
The land which is trying to break free from its chains,
The land I am eager to be familiar with,
The land which with each visit still remains a myth.

My motherland has its flaws. But who doesn't? Every country has a crooked past, a corrupt present and an uncertain future. My motherland has been trampled on and stolen from, but it still remains to be a booming country. Yes my motherland has its flaws, but my goodness it is a great nation; seasoned with all kinds of weather and filled with a variety of tradition, values and languages.

One day, I hope to make a long visit to the country that is in the forefront of lending the world an array of inspirational individuals. I want to be a part of my motherland's history. I want her to be proud of the person I am and the person I will be. I want to take my children to her warm embrace and for my descendants to smell her earthly aroma on a regular basis. So that even generations from now, my bloodline will remain faithful to my motherland. They will remember the food, the colours, the dance, the music and the breath-taking views. They will remember the extremities that people live in and strive to close the gap that's currently tearing the civilians apart from each other.

The land which gave birth to my beautiful mother,
The land which raised her and myself to be a free-thinking spirit,
The land which she left behind to give her family a better life,
The land which I will take her back to in order to relive her childhood.

The land which won its independence,
The land which was strengthened by captivity,
The land which has lost and gained many,
The land whose riches and culture are enjoyed in plenty.

The land whose blood still runs in my veins,
The land which is breaking free from its chains,
The land which I am becoming familiar with,
The land which with each visit will always remain a precious myth.

NEW HAVEN

After a tiring couple of days, I am finally settled in my new home. Summer has flown by and it's strange that I'm already back in university for my second year of medical school. 

This quick post is just to show you what I've done with my room. 

As you can see, I've tried to make the decor as cultured as possible so I feel like I'm seeing the world as I look around my room and one day I will see the world for all its charm and artistry.

THE PERFECT CHRISTIAN

"The world's latest craze is the selfie, where one takes a picture of themselves using a camera." Everyone chuckled quietly as the homily began. "A selfie portrays your own image to the world," he continued. "So how should the selfie of a perfect Christian look like?"

Homilies are one of my favourite aspects of the Catholic mass. But this particular one made me look at my life in a unique way.

You see I've been trying to achieve this golden standard of being the 'Perfect Christian' (and failing miserably!) Most of the time, it lasts for a few hours and then I conform to worldly matters. But recently, I have been getting these thoughts that I really need to change how I act for the better.

I was once having a debate with my friend about religion and what she said to me really struck a chord deep within my soul and it has been replaying in the back of my mind for a number of weeks. She said that she wouldn't have been able to tell that I was a Christian unless I hadn't just told her. Normally, I'm not affected by what people say to me because let's be honest, they're not the ones who are going to be paying my bills! But this really got to me..

I wouldn't have been able to tell that you were a Christian unless you hadn't just told me.

A lot of people think that Christianity is just a religion bound by its rules and rituals; but many fail to realise the unimaginable sense of belonging it brings with it. I'm going to talk a bit more about this in a future post.

Anyway, let's get back to the original homily. The main message was that we should live in a way so that others can see God in us. That you live so that non-believers want to get closer to God. People say that it's easier said than done, but having read the Bible and self-reflecting at church, it's effectively achievable. All you need is a bit of will power and happiness.

Happiness is key. By putting others first and by building a strong relationship with God, you can accomplish just this. Some may screw their nose up when I say 'put others first'; but you can only get to this stage unless you learn to love yourself and be grateful for what you have. 

There are numerous things that I need to change about my behaviour if I want to be a humble disciple of God. It's going to take months or even years for me to get there but I hope that those around me will start to see a change and God in me.

So how can one be a perfect Christian?

Well in my opinion, there's no such thing. One of the many flaws of a human being is their ability to go off-track every once in a while; so being a non-judgemental Christian in this world is harder than we think. But there's a thought that occasionally pops into my head and it's something which never fails to make me smile...

I am an imperfect human loved by a perfect God

THE CIRCLE OF LIFE

As you are welcomed into this world with open arms, your newly developed mouth and lungs initiates its first response to the world and takes its first breath.
That first gasp of air kick starts all of your major life processes.
Only stopping when you fall in love or when you become overwhelmed with a cloud of anguish.

During your early years you depend entirely on your parents.
You trust them to cherish and care for you and fall unconditionally in love with you.
They feed you, they clothe you and they shelter you from the harsh realities of the world.

As you grow older, your mind starts to wander. Your level of independence increases and you make the bold decision to spread your wings and fly. Leaving behind the arms that once held you close to their hearts.

The culture that defines my identity as an individual, teaches me to respect and look after my elders. This means repaying the blood, sweat and tears of your parents as they get older by looking after them at a time when they are most vulnerable just like they filled you with love as a child.

Working as a carer alongside my studies has its ups and downs. It showed me precisely how as a human being, we complete a circle in terms of our capabilities. As a baby, you are unable to fend for yourself and depend on others; and as your skin becomes covered in the trails of numerous life experiences as you age, you are again dependent on others.

One of the many greatest aspects of Asian culture that I'm proud to be a part of is caring for your parents as they age. In fact, it's frowned upon in society if you decide to put your parents in a care home. With all the remarkable things my mum has been through, I will surely be taking care of her until she's carried away to live under the umbrella of God's eternal glory.

WHY DO YOU WANT TO STUDY MEDICINE?

Along this journey that I'm going to share with you, I want to try and inspire as many of you as possible to achieve great things. I want to get more people excited about medicine just as much as I am. A lot of people think that I chose this career path because of various stereotypical reasons. 

"Are you sure this is what YOU want to do or is it something your parents are enforcing upon you?"

"It's funny how most Indians go down the medical or engineering path, I didn't take you for someone that would conform to that tradition."

It would be a lie if I said that I knew exactly why I wanted to do medicine when I first decided to go through with the treacherous process of applying. Even when my cousin was helping me with a mock interview, she asked me the most difficult question that all prospective students are bound to come across at some point in their life:

WHY DO YOU WANT TO STUDY MEDICINE?

Erm..err.. I was lost for words. I had no idea how to answer that question. In general, this question is answered quite poorly during interviews.

• I like science and I like people - quite simply the most generic answer and in my opinion isn't a good enough reason to do medicine.
• There wasn't an eye-opening experience in a hospital which influenced me to pursue this career
• I want to help people - why not do nursing or charity work?
• I haven't always wanted to do medicine - this field sparked my interest instantaneously and out of the blue - so what made you pick this field?

I don't know. A gut feeling maybe? I think the answer to this golden question only came to life as I advanced through my first year at university. It's hard for me to explain into words how I felt as I worked through the normal anatomy and physiology of each and every system of the human body. At a cellular level, the processes that enable us to carry on with our periodic habits and routine blew my mind. What's astonishing about the medical pathway that a medical student undertakes is quite brilliant. Essentially, you start off by learning how your body works, this makes the literature you read very personal and makes you appreciate the great mechanisms of one's physical form. Using this knowledge, you can then begin to decipher why something has gone wrong with an individual. As a patient comes to you with multiple symptoms, you piece together fragmented bits of information and build up the jigsaw puzzle and bring them out of a vulnerable position. I guess this among many other factors is what makes me happy about my chosen path in life. I'm sure my reasons will change often but I hope that my passion is fired up more and more each year

Previously on my blog, I've mentioned my cousin who studies medicine at King's College. Recently, she's assisted in setting up a course which helps you with medical/dentistry interviews. They've launched a new site - MedInterview. I definitely recommend it as I personally know two people that are among the tutors. They do have a high success rate and even though the amount you have to spend in order to take part in the course seems like a lot, it's totally worth it!

FLOWERS, FOOD AND A POCKET FULL OF FUN

Onam

I would wake up bright and early and put on my brand new set saree (a traditional South Indian outfit which is unique to Kerala due to it being white with gold borders and design, as seen below). Adorning myself in gorgeous jewellery bought from India from the recent trip, I would make my way with my family to the celebrations taking place in town.

Source

Originally a Hindu festival, it is a celebration that brings together people of all religions. Legend says that Kerala was once ruled by a king named Mahabali and Onam is a celebration of his return from the underworld. This is a rough translation of a song that's often sung on this day:

"When Maveli ruled the land,

All the people were equal.

And people were joyful and merry;

They were all free from harm.

There was neither anxiety nor sickness,

Deaths of children were unheard of,

There were no lies,

There was neither theft nor deceit,

And no one was false in speech either.

Measures and weights were right;

No one cheated or wronged his neighbor.

When Maveli ruled the land,

All the people formed one casteless races"

There are many beautiful rituals and practices that take place over the course of the celebration and I'm going to briefly tell you about my favourite aspects of Onam:

പൂക്കളം (Pookalam)

This is a work of art. In a group, you gather flowers and create a beautiful floral carpet in front of your house in an attempt to attract Mahabali to visit your house.

Source

ഓണസദ്യ (Feast of Onam)

Quite simply the most magnificent thing about Onam is the banquet that everyone eats together. Around 26 vegetarian curries is served with rice on a plantain leaf. 

Source

തിരുവാതിര (Thiruvathira)

As a lover of dance, I always loved taking part in this performance. The dance is performed in a circle and is traditionally carried out by women.

Source

വടംവലി (Tug of War)

This is exactly what the title says but twice the fun.

Source

There we have it. A breakdown of one of my favourite festivals of Kerala. 

This year will be the first time in my life that I'm not celebrating Onam with anyone. I loved going and seeing everyone in the Indian community but things have changed over the year. Relationships and ties were broken and the sense of happiness is now tarnished with the question 'what if..?'

Oh how I wish I could spend Onam in God's own country...

Source

ഓണാശംസകൾ (Happy Onam) to all those reading my blog!

MAD WORLD

The world we live in is sick. Innocent lives are being murdered in cold blood every day. I wish there was something I could do about it.

Thousands of Christians are cruelly having their lives taken away from them. I know that Christians aren't the only ones suffering but I can't help but think about how people that share the same faith as me are being tortured.

Beheading children...
Raping and killing women...
Hanging men...

All because of their faith. The one thing that's supposed to make them feel at peace with themselves is now the cause of this persecution. Let's not forget the fact that this isn't the first time Christians have been treated this way. Who could dismiss from their mind the way Christians were publicly fed to starving lions for entertainment? When first learning about it, the world thought it was preposterous. But history is repeating itself for the worse.

When will this inhumanity end?

I don't even know what it means to be human anymore. I used to think that the characteristics of a human was to be compassionate, empathetic, kind and above all put on this planet to care for one another and the resources of our tiny planet. But how is it that we are the only animals on this planet that's willing to kill one another and actually find pleasure in doing so?

I remember watching a documentary which showed cheetahs walking peacefully alongside their prey, gazelles. You see, wild animals only kill for food. For survival. They only kill when they need to. We as humans are supposed to have a superior intellect which enables us to make informed decisions with whatever situations that we are faced with. Yet we murder one another on the basis of what exactly? I don't think even the murderers know what they are fighting for.

The groups that are terrorising the world at the moment is giving religion a bad name. In fact, all of the blame is eventually going to fall on God. Our creator. The message of loving one another as you love yourself and the concept of free will is being forgotten by the inhabitants of this God forsaken planet.

My heart goes out to my brothers and sisters who are dying as martyrs. I know that this message will never reach the poor souls that are dying on the other side of the world; and as I carry on with my sheltered life, you remain in my prayers. Every time I think of the hardships that face you as you wake up each day brings me to tears. I hope with all my heart that your suffering ends as quickly as possible and I hope that the world sees sense and can finally start to comprehend what it means to be human again.

HOSPITAL PLACEMENT

Early patient contact is a key component a medical student has to undertake in order to become a brilliant physician.

Tomorrow I will be starting my hospital placement which will take place two days a week. As a year 2 student who's still stumbling her way through living away from home and just finishing first year, this is both an exciting and nerve-wracking experience.

One of the many great things about my medical school is the fact that they put you on placement and set you tasks as soon as you begin year 2. Some may say that it's too early and that students are not yet prepared for patient contact, but I strongly believe that this is the best way to improve your communication and clinical skills.

I won't be disclosing too much of my experience at the hospital due to confidentiality reasons; but I will try to give an overview in order for you to get the general feel of what life in the hospital is like.

ARIA HAIR CURLERS

The woman that's obsessed with my hair (my one of a kind mother) bought this for me as a birthday present. I have wanted these for a long time after reading a lot of good reviews on a number of blogs.

I decided to buy the 25mm barrel as I wanted bigger curls for my hair. The packaging is ultra cute and you can buy the curlers in lots of different designs. I stuck to black as everything I own is either black, white or grey.

In each box you get the curling wand (obviously!), a heat proof mat and a glove.

Tight curls look terrible on me because of the shape of my face; so the thicker barrel allows me to produce natural curls. 

Pros:

• You don't need any heat protective spray due to the technology of this 
• No need for hairspray! If I curl my hair in the morning, it stays exactly like that until the end of the day and leaves loose waves the next day
• Heats up in seconds
• Small amounts of moisture in the air won't get rid of the curls

Cons

• It's quite expensive but it should be seen as a great investment