A LIFE OF ASSESSMENT

It's nearly halfway through the first month of 2015 and the one thing that's already in the back of my mind are the exams that determine whether I progress into third year. Statistics show that the first and second years of medical school are the times when the majority of students that aren't cut out for medicine fail. If I go by this, then I have one more hurdle to face before I am filled with confidence that I can actually graduate after 3/4 years. 

Many people think that after getting into medical school, you have completed the greatest challenge. But it's only just beginning. Each year you are filled with self-doubt as you wonder whether you will be able to make it to the next stage of achieving your goal of becoming a doctor. It doesn't really get much better once you graduate either; as each year your competency is assessed thoroughly. 

For those considering medicine, I would strongly advise you to think about these things along with many other factors before you decide to pursue this path. For me, I don't mind having a life full of exams and stress. Because at the end of it all, I will be doing what I love the most and seeing change in the world around me. Being a part of that change is bound to give me the adrenaline rush that I long to have in my working life. 

After a fairly gloomy post, I thought I'd conclude with something that made me very happy. A few days ago I opened my jar of memories from last year and read the notes that I had put in there throughout 2014. Some made me chuckle whereas others made me relive moments that I would never forget. I've chucked all of them away (except for a few special ones!) and I have started a brand new one for this year; and I'm happy to say that I already have had two precious memories only 2 weeks into the year.

God bless

CHARITIES OFFICERS

Earlier on in my blog, I mentioned that I got the opportunity to choreograph the dances in the MedSoc panto - Aladdin. Well the event was a huge success!

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In order to respect confidentiality, I have blurred everyone's faces. It's not because we're an ugly bunch...

I have even more good news! At the annual winter ball, myself and my friend (R) got elected to become the successive charities officers on the exec of the medical society. This means that we get to organise the panto next year (Lion King is on the cards!) and many other events in order to raise money for charity. We're both very excited for the year ahead of us!

THE END OF ANOTHER YEAR

2014 has flown by like a breeze. Now it's the last day of the year and I'm trying to think of what my resolutions will be for the following year. Here are a few things that you can all look forward to reading on my blog in 2015...yes I know you're all at the edge of your seats right now!

2015 is the year where I hit the age of 21. I have been on this planet for 21 years and I have so much more that I need to learn about myself and the world. Birthdays are starting to seem not as exciting as they used to be. Maybe I'm slowly having to face the reality of growing up and accepting the fact that I'm no longer the child that I feel I am deep down.

Around a year ago, I mentioned that I was one of the co-founders of SKIP Lancaster and I haven't really talked about it since. We have progressed a lot since then with our research and development and have chosen our country that we would like to base our project in - Nepal. This year we'll be going out to Nepal to conduct more research on potential projects so watch this space to find out more!

As the newly elected charities officers, myself and R are hoping to organise a few fundraisers in order to raise money for various organisations. I'll be sure to post what these are.

A medical student will always have exams in the back of their mind throughout their degree and this year is no different. In a couple of months time, I'll be taking my end of year exams and hopefully through God's blessings I'll pass and progress through to third year.

If God willing I pass, then you can all look forward to posts about the start of third year and what the work load is like.

So, I would like to wish you all a happy new year. May this year bring you all wonderful opportunities to better yourself and those around you. God bless!

A VISIT FROM MY BEST FRIEND

It's been 10 years since I've known her. She taught me how to street dance and gave me lots of great memories. 

Moving away to university has showed me who my true friends are. Throughout high school, I had a great set of friends and at the time I thought I'd be friends with them for what seemed like forever. Leaving my home town and starting a new life half way across the country, started to show the cracks in the relationships that I used to have with people. 

"Dance is the hidden language of the soul" - Choreographing routines with B was like being separated from the world and forming a bubble of our own. I guess this connection is what has kept our friendship strong for all these years. 

RETAIL THERAPY IN MANCHESTER

I like to think that I'm not a materialistic person. Worshipping man made items have never appealed to me so I hate buying things for myself and when people buy things for me. (Except for my family of course as they sort of owe it to me for me being in their lives!)

Myself and three of my friends decided to exploit the free weekend we had to go to the Trafford Centre in Manchester to do a bit of shopping.

The fact that the centre was filled with Christmas decorations and lights got me even more excited about my favourite holiday of the year being just round the corner. 

A JAR FULL OF ENCOUNTERS

At the start of the year, I realised that I needed a more positive outlook on life. I noticed that over the course of the year, myself like many others focus on the negative events that occur in our lives; completely disregarding the wonderful opportunities that come across our way. 

As I was thinking of ways to document my most personal and happy thoughts that I didn't want to share with anyone but myself, I came up with this idea...

I found an empty jar and over the course of the year, my plan is to write little notes of all of the joyous moments that occur in my life. 

My plan is to open the jar on the 1st of January 2015 and read through all of its contents in private and it should provide me with an elated outlook for the following year.

If it works, I intend to continue with this idea every year.

If anyone else is in need of some positivity in their lives, then I urge you to try out this idea!

LATE NIGHT WALKS

Even though Lancaster isn't one of the largest cities in England, I do on a regular basis become mesmerised by its surreal natural beauty.

Ashton Memorial is an exquisite building that's mathematically in the centre of the United Kingdom. It is considered as the Taj Mahal of the North as it was built by a billionaire for his wife. I've been told that the view from the top is spectacular during the day but walking around Williamson park and looking across the Lancaster skyline at night time is simply breathtaking.

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The other night my friend took me to Williamson Park to see the view from atop the memorial as I had never been there before. Even though I have been in Lancaster for over a year!

There's nothing more peaceful than going for a long walk with a close friend and breathing the cold crisp air as you ramble on about things that won't matter to anyone else but you. I love experiencing the world at night. There's a change in character in the people you see walking down the street and the buzz of the day is replaced with a sense of calmness as people let their hair down and forget the worries of the day that has just passed them by.

So what did I enjoy most about being on top of the most central building in the UK?

It has to be the night sky that was illuminated with speckles of stars and the earth that was radiating with lights of the busy Lancaster night life. You feel serene as you watch over this beautiful sight.

First dates, family outings, friends gathering and individuals enjoying the simple pleasures in life.

Priceless

FREEDOM...FREE"DOOM"

Today marks the first day of university for the first year medical students. I cannot believe how quick the past year has gone. I can still remember the strange mix of emotions that I went through leading up to getting the keys to my new home for the year. 

Being independent is something all teenagers look forward to. Making decisions, making mistakes, learning from them and turning into an individual that makes a mark during the limited time that we have on this planet. Deciding to go to university is not a light decision for a young person to make. You are choosing to leave home and go out into the world by yourself. As appealing as that may sound to the adventurous young minds out there, it's a lot more daunting than you may think.

However, after you take the initial baby steps into becoming a self-governing conscious mind; you begin to appreciate everything that was handed to you as a child. You start to see the world in a new light and the thoughts that cross your mind become more and more carefully articulated. 

To all those who are starting university this year:

Live your life and enjoy everything that you set your mind to do. Treasure each and every moment and don't let the stresses of education get to you.

CHILDHOOD FRIEND

For confidentiality purposes I'm going to call her SJ

Lately I've been talking to my childhood friend from Oman. I've known her from ever since I can remember. We went to church together, we were in the same classes and we did pretty much everything together. In the year 2003, everything changed.

When my mum told me that we were moving halfway across the world to England, I was devastated. Not only was I leaving my comfortable life in Oman and the friends that I shared my childhood with; I was also leaving SJ. She may deny it now but I still remember how we were both in tears when I eventually told her. I was moving to an alien country to start a new chapter in my life but I wanted her to be one of the characters in my new book. We vowed to stay in touch and at first, we both kept our promises. But like a vast majority of friendships, as life became more hectic and difficult, the frequency of the calls and efforts made to contact each other decreased; until eventually it stopped on both sides.

Five years went by...

We both changed. We grew taller. Our bodies changes. Our attitudes, morals and values were taking shape. We were starting to become individuals in our own right.

We stumbled across each other's profile on a social media site and began talking. I'm going to be completely modest and say that conversations with me don't tend to get awkward unless I want it to! However, this time around I was quite nervous to start talking to her. 

We are so different from the little girls in pigtails that used to run around the international school in Oman. Nevertheless, after all these years the conversation flowed regardless of the North Atlantic Ocean that keeps us apart. It's quite strange talking to SJ, it feels as though I'm reliving my childhood in the country that I was born and brought up in. 

I love hearing other people's stories about the one friend whom they've known for what seems like an eternity. I used to wish that I had that in my life too. But moving from country to country has made it difficult (Not that I would change that!) But now I'm beginning to see that I too have a childhood friend. Someone I used to share all my secrets with and someone with whom I will always have a million things to talk about. We may be living in different countries but hopefully our friendship will last as long as others in the world who are lucky enough to have that special friend for years to come. One day, I hope to visit you in America and relive the days we ruled Indian School of Darsait!

I know that you read my blog so hello! :) I hope I haven't made you cringe too much with this post.

MEMOIRS OF A DANCER

The gorgeous bride and groom

She walked down the aisle looking like an angel. At that moment, I turned around to see her fiancée's face and oh my the glow that spread across his face made me believe in fairy tales all over again. The angel that was gracefully walking past the eyes of her friends and family is a girl that I used to dance with when I first began to enjoy this beautiful form of art.

The theme of the wedding included peacock feathers which brought a touch of India to England.

The ceiling in the venue was draped in crisp white linen and was covered in fairy lights; making the reception almost magical.

Long rehearsals, last minute outfit changes, the rush of adrenaline as we stood backstage, the vibrations that made its way from the sound system to my feet and the way my limbs moved in sync with the beat.

I miss dancing. When I say I miss it, I mean my body literally quivers at the thought of it and is hungry for an empty dance studio and music. This art form will always remain close to my heart due to many reasons. It's hard to describe how I feel when I am on stage or even in the comfort of being alone in a studio.

How I wish I could carry on dancing on a regular basis; but circumstances have made it difficult. Unfortunately, there are only 24 hours in a day and time is something which I long to have more of. I want to relive my past memories of entering competitions and dancing to entertain. But I guess those succinct moments will have to be stored in my long-term memory, all in the hope that I can revoke them one last time in the future...

NEW HAVEN

After a tiring couple of days, I am finally settled in my new home. Summer has flown by and it's strange that I'm already back in university for my second year of medical school. 

This quick post is just to show you what I've done with my room. 

As you can see, I've tried to make the decor as cultured as possible so I feel like I'm seeing the world as I look around my room and one day I will see the world for all its charm and artistry.

FLOWERS, FOOD AND A POCKET FULL OF FUN

Onam

I would wake up bright and early and put on my brand new set saree (a traditional South Indian outfit which is unique to Kerala due to it being white with gold borders and design, as seen below). Adorning myself in gorgeous jewellery bought from India from the recent trip, I would make my way with my family to the celebrations taking place in town.

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Originally a Hindu festival, it is a celebration that brings together people of all religions. Legend says that Kerala was once ruled by a king named Mahabali and Onam is a celebration of his return from the underworld. This is a rough translation of a song that's often sung on this day:

"When Maveli ruled the land,

All the people were equal.

And people were joyful and merry;

They were all free from harm.

There was neither anxiety nor sickness,

Deaths of children were unheard of,

There were no lies,

There was neither theft nor deceit,

And no one was false in speech either.

Measures and weights were right;

No one cheated or wronged his neighbor.

When Maveli ruled the land,

All the people formed one casteless races"

There are many beautiful rituals and practices that take place over the course of the celebration and I'm going to briefly tell you about my favourite aspects of Onam:

പൂക്കളം (Pookalam)

This is a work of art. In a group, you gather flowers and create a beautiful floral carpet in front of your house in an attempt to attract Mahabali to visit your house.

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ഓണസദ്യ (Feast of Onam)

Quite simply the most magnificent thing about Onam is the banquet that everyone eats together. Around 26 vegetarian curries is served with rice on a plantain leaf. 

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തിരുവാതിര (Thiruvathira)

As a lover of dance, I always loved taking part in this performance. The dance is performed in a circle and is traditionally carried out by women.

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വടംവലി (Tug of War)

This is exactly what the title says but twice the fun.

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There we have it. A breakdown of one of my favourite festivals of Kerala. 

This year will be the first time in my life that I'm not celebrating Onam with anyone. I loved going and seeing everyone in the Indian community but things have changed over the year. Relationships and ties were broken and the sense of happiness is now tarnished with the question 'what if..?'

Oh how I wish I could spend Onam in God's own country...

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ഓണാശംസകൾ (Happy Onam) to all those reading my blog!

START OF SECOND YEAR

The day has come for me to return to the North; where the weather forces you to stay inside and do work. I can't believe I'm at the second stage of my degree. I have heard quite a few horror stories about the year that lies ahead of me:

A higher pile up of work, long days following up on case studies at the hospital, a dissertation, the wait until mid July for exams to finish, barely any free time, inability to have a decent social life etc...

As strange as this may sound, I wouldn't trade the position I'm in for anything else in the world. Even though at times the levels of stress that I put myself under take me to the brink of insanity, I thrive in situations when put under pressure.

Anyway, over the summer I've been posting a lot. Every other day to be precise! Don't ask me how my brain came up with the content to write because I honestly haven't got a clue. Wait, maybe I've finally got to grips with the whole blogging thing and can class myself as a blogger now. It's infuriating that I decided to mess around with the HTML of my previous blog to lose all the content from first year; I've definitely learnt from my mistake and will never even go near a HTML code ever again.

Firstly, I'd like to thank everyone that reads my blog. I've received some sweet and kind feedback from the posts and I really am grateful. Secondly, I'm going to try sticking to blogging on a more regular basis. However I don't know how long that will last. Hopefully I can squeeze in half an hour every other day to fill you all in with what I've been getting up to.

MEMORIES OF A FRESHER

Alex put together a collection of the best memories of our past year at medical school and it's the most adorable thing you'll ever see.

It's amazing how close some of us have become over the past few months. Knowing people who share the same love of medicine, is something which can't be explained adequately in words.

Memories like these are so precious and what makes it even more special is that these experiences will stay with us (even if it is in the back of conscious mind). Only to resurface when you sit in front of the fireplace, wrapped up in blankets, surrounded by your children and grandchildren and relive them as though they happened just the day before...